Ahh—the first time yoga ever moved me to tears, I still remember this day so perfectly. I remember all of the emotions and everything I was going through at the time. I had just started getting back into yoga again. I really needed it. I was young and things were moving fast in all directions. I was in a roller coaster of a marriage. A lot of ups, but a whole lot of downs. Something was off, but I couldn’t quite place my finger on exactly what it was. I desperately needed clarity, and a safe space to feel.
It was a sunny, summer day. I was going to a yoga in the park session for the first time. It was hot in the desert, so the class practiced under the shade of a big awning. The practice was simple, but soulful. Exactly what I needed. I don’t remember exactly what the teacher said in Savasana, but it put me in a relaxed, yet vulnerable state of mind.
When the class came out of Savasana, the teacher taught us a simple mantra to chant. We sang it together as a class. Which is when I began to cry. I remember chanting and hoping no one noticed the tears, wiping them away quickly with the back of my hand.
Ganesha is the remover of obstacles—apparently something was obstructing my tear ducts because it opened the floodgates! The teacher taught the class to meditate on a goal that we wanted to realize where we were maybe facing obstacles. In the midst of this crazy marriage I was in, I just wanted to feel connected to my own spirit.
At that time I was learning about Native American spirituality and became interested in spirit animals. I meditated on gaining intuition. I asked to have the obstructions in the way of me seeing my spirit animal removed. I felt alone, and I think I just wanted a little guidance.
Not only did I cry that day, but that night I dreamt of owls. My dream startled me awake. I still remember seeing these giant owl eyes right in my face before I woke up. I started seeing owls in my dreams regularly. I even saw one in real life—which is rare in the desert, even rarer when you spend most of your time in the city!
Owls have the ability to see in the dark—to see what is hidden from view. It took me some time, but I eventually did find out what was being hidden. My intuition felt it all along, I just didn’t have the eyes to see. And while it ended my marriage, it allowed me to start my life.
Those yoga in the park sessions inspired me to become a yoga teacher. Two months after my divorce finalized I began my 200-hour yoga teacher training. I was healed through yoga and now, I get to help others heal themselves. I have cried in yoga many times since that first time. And while now I know many different mantras, chanting the Ganesha mantra still holds a special place in my heart.
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Dreams of Mystics by DJ Taz Rashid pairs perfectly with meditations, yin or restorative yoga practices, and Savasana.